SILENT FREEDOM

What is silent freedom, you ask? Well, let me explain!

                Silent Freedom is a motivitation led by me, a young deaf 21 year old man (as of 2019), Mavrick. Before I tell you about the motivitation itself, allow me to tell you small story about myself, that caused me to start this motivitation. I grew up normally, just as everyone else. But, I grew up in a deaf community in Riverside, California. Even though I grew up being deaf, communicated only with ASL, couldn't speak at all, I felt my life was normal because I grew up in a deaf community where everyone else had similar obstcale. I thought everything was fine.
              I was happy-go-lucky for all my childhood and teenage years, until one day. I decided to embrace reality and decided to join the true reality. I quit deaf community after I was done with my high school junior year. I decided to enroll in normal high school at Stuarts Draft, Virginia. I enrolled in Stuarts Draft High School, as a deaf senior student. I was ONLY person in the WHOLE high school who were deaf, and couldn't speak nor listen. Only way for me to communicate with others was to do it ol' fashioned way, writing on papers.
               As I went in, my first day of the school. Everything was so different. Everyone looked at me, and tried to say something, I had to tell them that I was deaf, can't talk nor listen. The high school itself had like 800 students or something. Basically I had to say that I was deaf, can't talk nor listen for 800 times. OH THE PAIN! LOL! First few days were really awkward, until everyone started to know me. Didn't say any word, but knew me.
               I also got provided an interpreter... let me tell you what he was like. He was skinny, middle-heighted nerdy young man. He told me he was homeschooled for all his life. He couldn't stop talking in ASL with me in the class. Everyone was looking at us and whispering. Oh god, that was embarassing. Also... There was hot beautiful high school girl who seemed to want to introduce herself to me, and that nerdy interpreter just ruined everything. She wanted to introduce herself towards me, without interpreter's help, but interpreter just interrupted and creeped her off. Oh god the pain. 
               I demanded to the school council that I DID NOT WANT AN INTERPRETER ANYMORE, PERIOD! They were so worried that I would fail my classes. So, I gave them ultimatum, that I would quit the high school, if the interpreter does not go away. I also were very confident that I would still pass the classes anyway. I was straight-A 4.00 GPA student with AP classes. If I could manage 4.00 GPA in AP classes in deaf school, then yes I can manage to have 2.00 GPA in normal class in normal high school without being able to understand the teacher at all.
              Finally, few days after my first day of school, I was on my own. No more nerdy interpreter who interrupts every time I get a chance to talk to a hot chick! LOL! As I went on with the classes without having an interpreter, everything was better. More students were willing to talk to me normally by writing on the papers. Some students were smart enough to learn ASL alphabet to communicate little faster than writing on papers with me. It was cool. One teacher did the same as well. While the rest of the teachers didn't bother to learn basic ASL for me a deaf student. I asked for it anyway. I didn't want an interpreter. I sat throughout every class daydreaming, watching the teachers blabber for hours, everyday, not understanding a single thing.
              But, lucky for me, I already learned the stuff the teachers were teaching from my previous advanced placement classes in deaf school, so I had no problem. I literally aced everything. I put 100% to almost every tests. I literally put straight A plus in every class. I became 4.00 student in a normal high school as a deaf student without an interpreter, not understanding every single thing the teacher says. It was very ego-boosting for me. But still, I sat alone in every lunchtime. Everyone was in cafeteria, I just... didn't see any table I belonged, so I went outside and sat on the sidewalk and ate my PBJ. 
              While I was in deaf community, I was one of "Elite" students. I was popular, smart, athletic, and stuff. I was very mentally strong person, I was very happy for who I was, and was very goal-committed student. Then, me being in normal high school, being only person in school who couldn't talk nor speak. I couldn't socialize. I barely socialized. My mental strength was starting to go down. I never had experienced anything like that before. I was starting to become depressed, for the first time in my life.
              Being depressed is... unbelievably painful! It was like... you didn't even like who you were. You don't even like your life. You don't even have anything that makes you happy. You don't even know what is the point for you to continue to live. You think being dead is actually easier. I started to experience bizarre mental symptoms, such as paranoia and delusions. I couldn't even get those bizarre paranoid delusions out of my head. It was like a demon eating my mind, torturing me. It was living hell. Holy shit. I knew, I had to solve this problem immediately. Otherwise I would just die by suicide. 
              My committment to education, college, and my future goals died. I didn't care about them at all anymore. All I cared at the moment was to have my horrible Depression and mental illness SOLVED, because it was literally life-threatening issue for me! I kept my cool while I was around everyone. I looked fine and acted normal towards everyone else. But deep inside my head, I was in middle of a life-threatening battle against my own mental illness. I just lost motivation for my grades in high school anymore. I decided to get 0.00 GPA because why the heck not? I watched the movie, "Into the Wild" a true story by Christopher McCandless who had similar problem, being unhappy and decided to run away to Alaska and died there. I was so INSPIRED by that movie! I decided to do the same. I bought hiking, camping, and survival equippment. I prepared for a while. 
              Then, one day, I decided to run away. My destination at the moment was Appalachian Trial. I skipped school, and ran away with my razor scooter. I spent all day scooting on the side of road towards north. For some reason... I kinda felt good. My mental illness were still there, but it was 1% better, only after one day. It was getting dark, I set up a tent in the forest on the side of road and slept there for the night. It was cold and windy, hard to sleep. It was winter in Virginia, pretty barren and cold, especially during nights. For some reason... I was kinda spooked by how creepy sleeping alone in dark forest was. I started to feel like chickening out from what I was doing.  
              Finally, the sun came up. I got up, and packed everything. I decided to chicken out from what I was doing and head back home. It was wrong time to run away, too cold. I was only 17 that time, I didn't have any money. So, I scootered downhill from the Virginia Appalachian mountains to my home. All of the sudden I lost balance because I was going way too fast, and went flying downhill. My face landed right on the road first, with my whole body and backpack weighing down on my face. I crashed so hard, hit my head so hard, BAM, I rolled for like 20 feet... I could see blood dripping from my own eyes, then I looked at the sky, sun was shining so brightly on me.
              I got up... with blood all over my face, I was in so much shock and pain at the moment. I walked for like 10 mins, then I saw police officer looking at me inside his police car. I gestured to him, "Can you drive me home"? He said yes. Turns out police were looking for me, he already knew who I was, I didn't need to introduce myself and tell him where I live. I rode in police car, to my home. I realized, I had scootered for like 30 miles from my home in single day, it took 40 mins to drive back to home. I arrived home, my mother and grandma was so worried for me. I told them I was fine. Depressed people always say "I'm fine" all the time.  
              I even made it to local county news! Look at this link Archive. Everyone in the school was talking about me. Even though I barely socialized and barely had any friends in the high school, everyone still knew me, because I was different, perhaps? I came back to school, with huge bloody cuts, wounds, and scabs on my face, everyone was looking at me. They were like, "Holy shit did you get into a huge fight or something?" They thought I was a total badass because I looked like I just got out of a war. Lol. They couldn't stop asking me what happened, I was too ashamed to tell them the true story. Deciding to run away with a scooter, camped in scary dark and cold forest, got scared and decided to chicken out, and then lost balance on my cooter and fell. Really lame story, huh? Lol. I decided to just say that I banged my head so hard that I couldn't remember anything. It was believable. Lol.
              Everyone in the high school suddenly tried to be nice and friendly with me because of what happened. It was nice of them, but it wasn't really helping. Only person who could actually make me feel better is myself. My principal called me, he was laughing so hard, and called me Jeremiah Johnson. He recommended me to watch that movie because I reminded him of Jeremiah Johnson, which was his favorite movie. He told me that I had already passed all high school credits from my previous advanced placement classes in deaf school. I could literally graduate in december, one semster earlier than anyone else. He was encouraging me to travel, because me running away basically told everyone that I wanted to travel. He was a good principal. 
             I finished the remaining few weeks of the first semster of my senior year. Boom. Got my high school degree. I was ready to go anytime, but I had to prepare a little; funds, equipment, and some knowledge. My mental illness and depression were torturing me like crazy, nonstop. The more I try to not to think about it, the more it chased me. It was hell. I wanted to die. I decided to return to facebook, where my old deaf community that I used to belong were. I was so lonely after all those months of solitude. I needed attention, friends, and social life bad. I decided to start posting videos on facebook. ASL videos of me ranting how bullshit the world is, how our system are so bullshit, and stuff. I have no idea why, but it was a huge HIT. I suddenly got so popular in the deaf community. All of my videos I posted, averaged 50,000 views. Deaf people in another countries saw my videos, and loved it because they were so funny. I suddenly got so famous, within only 3 months.
             I basically became one of the deaf community's celebrity, overnight. My videos were so full of energy and emotions. Just like Donald Trump! I noticed, every time I talked about religion and how bullshit it was, it had the highest amount of views. Religion were always the topic that everyne got heated up so easily. I decided to do the grand finale vlog. Burning Holy Bible. I made video of myself ranting how bullshit religion was, destroying the bible book, and then pouring gas on it and burn it. There is a video somewhere on the internet, only if you can find it. Lol.  
             That video got 86,000 views within 1 day, it had 2,000 shares within 1 day. I kind of chickened out and decided to delete the video before it got too viral. Everyone in the deaf community saw that video and acknowledged me. I made a lot of new friends, deaf friends, because of that video. I asked one deaf girl from South Carolina if I could leave my home and stay your place for few days. She said yes. Boom. It was time to start traveling for real. I became 18, and got my own Social Security Disability Income (SSDI) which was $1,086 a month. Basically $35 a day. It was enough for me to survive on the street.  
              I told my mother, that it was time for me to leave and have a journey. She cried a little but she knew I had to do it. She drove me to Amtrak station and dropped me off, that was a very emotional moment for her and myself. She is a wonderful mother to me. It was a very heart-cringing moment. Many people think that I am mama's boy. I am an only child, and grew up with just my mom. Many people try to insult or trigger me by calling me a mama boy. I don't really care, I love my mom and am proud to be a mama's boy! I hugged and said goodbye to my mom, got on the Amtrak train and began my journey.
              Amtrak train was headed to South Carolina, a city named spartansburg. The deaf girl lived 30 miles away. I arrived 2am, and started to jog with 40lb backpack for 30 miles to her place. It was really scary to jog all alone in rural South Carolina in middle of the night. The fear kind of helped me to pump the adrenaline and jog even faster, not feeling any exhaust. It took me 11 hours to finally reach her place. Crazy shit. Few days later, I decided to go to New Orleans, Louisiana. I got on train and off I went. I met some other similar guy, who was going to California for some hiking journey. He was cool. He was seeking happiness just like I did. I arrived New Orleans, explored. Later, I went to El Paso, texas. I wandered into desert, slept under the bridge just like homeless man would. I went to Albuquerque, Denver, Salt Lake City, Reno, Sacramento, Portland, Seattle, and then finally into Canada. 
              It took me 1 month from leaving my home from Virginia, to Vancouver, BC. I explored Canada... went to some city named Kamloops, BC. It was so beautiful. British Columbia mountains were stunning. I was so happy. Then I suddenly realized... I was HAPPY! I didn't even think about my depression nor my mental illness for like 3 weeks straight!!! I didn't even think about anything negative at all! NOTHING! EFFORTLESSLY! I was SO SO SO SO SO distracted by how incredibly beautiful the world was! It was PURE BLISS! I suddenly realized... that is WHAT LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE!!! 
             It was so incredible, I was so addicted to traveling, I continued my journey, towards Edmonton, Saskatoon, Winnipeg, Toronto, Rochester, then finally I returned home, reunited with my dear mother. It was happy reunion. I changed so much from the day I left. I met so much people. It was sooo rich experience. Amazing. The whole journey itself were only 6 weeks, but it felt like a whole year worth of experience! It was amazing. I wanted more. I got so addicted to traveling, it was my DRUG for happiness! I decided to explore another countries. I decided to choose Norway, Svalbard, Iceland, and Greenland. I bought airplane tickets, total cost was around $2,000. I started my journey.
             I explored Norway... Svalbard... Iceland... I didn't even spend nearly anything at all. I slept on sidewalk all the time, But sometimes I luckily met some deaf people who already knew me from my previous burning bible video, and invited me to stay their places. Norway was so incredibly beautoful... I met so much deaf people there. I met so much people. I went to Iceland... Oh, that country made me cry of happiness. So beautiful, I took a bus driving through Iceland from Reykjavik to Akureyri. It was unforgettable experience. Iceland is truly my DREAM COUNTRY TO LIVE AT! I felt like i truly belonged there. Eventually, I went to Greenland, its capital city, Nuuk. I stayed there for 9 days, I met so many people... It was so amazing.  
             Later... I got back home, and decided to get a dirt bike and ride from Arizona to Alaska. I went for it. It took me 2 weeks to ride from Arizona to Alaskan arctic ocean coast at the north, Prudhoe Bay. I even met one dirt bike rider from Argentina, IN ALASKA! His name was Guillermo Gusella. I will never forget him. We rode together. I got in touch with one deaf girl who wanted to run away too, but she was from Pennsylvania. I rode from Alaska to Pennsylvania just to pick her up. We decided to travel in a van in Mexico together, we met so many people, Mexico was so incredibly beautiful country. Fast forward to now, she is my girlfriend now and we have a baby.
             Now... we have a baby, I decided to buy a land in rural Nevada, known as Elko, Nevada. 1 acre was only for $7,500. I installed utilities, fence, and stuff to the land to make it habitable. It cost us only $20,000. You ask, why did we choose this lifestyle? Why don't I go to college, get a degree, get a good job, and get a house? Why am I doing it the poorer way? Not go to college, depend completely on Social Security Income, Food stamps, and medicare? Why? 
             My answer is... for the sake of happiness. What is the meaning for our lives? Why do we, humans, exist? Duh. The answer is simple. TO BE HAPPY! If you aren't happy, you will experience depression, and start to think being dead is better. The meaning of life is HAPPINESS. It always had been that way, always and forever. 
             Now, finally, back to the point, what is this motivation, Silent Freedom all about? While I was traveling all around North America... I have seen so much suffering, depression, mental illness, and imprisonment of deaf community all around North America. They all had similar situation I had while I was in high school. It is caused by being deaf in middle of everyone who uses language that requires you to hear. It is hard. It will cause you to become lonely, struggle to find employment, and they will even oppress you. It is not their fault that they oppress us, the deaf people. It is a human nature to prefer people who can communicate over people who can't. So, who is there to help us? My answer... IS OURSELVES!  
             It's just like depressed people's best person to help them is themselves. Deaf community's best help they can get is from deaf community itself. Hundreds Hundreds Hundreds of thousands of deaf people in USA are suffering. They are unemployed, imprisoned at their own apartments with endless cycle of getting Social Security Income and using all of it to pay rent. They are very depressed. Guess what? Hopsitals and those elite medical clincs say depression is a disorder, and only way to cure it is taking medicine that makes you a zombie. That is a TOTAL BULLSHIT! Depression is NOT A DISORDER! IT IS YOUR SUBCONSICIOUSNESS' WAY OF TELLING YOU THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A GOOD LIFE!
             Okay, so, how can we, Silent Freedom motivation help those suffering deaf people? First of all, the suffering majority of deaf community's major enemy is $$$. They can't even find a decent job. Disability Social Security Income is barely equal to minimum wage job, and if you have a full time job, Social Security Income stops. Deaf people have no choice but to choose not to have a job because being unemployed will get you more cash thanks to SSI than having a job. This is one of the biggest flaws in our USA society. So, they are unemployed, they cannot afford to buy a house at all. They are stuck at their own apartments, paying rent all the time. I have seen so much deaf people deciding to get at least 5 deaf roomates and share same apartment, just to save money. They are prisoners of their own apartments. I even have seen so much deaf people deciding to make more deaf babies, so they can get more social security income. It is just truly sad. 
              I am one of them. Me, my girlfriend, my mother, my grandma, and my newborn son, are imprisoned at our apartment, because we cannot find any decent job and stuck with our own social security income. It is very depressing. Only solution I could think of was to buy land, get a camp trailer, and install some utilites, and live there. The whole thing costs usually less than $20,000-$15,000. Once done, deaf people can just live on their lands, and LIVE RENT-FREE! So, they can finally worry no more about finanical risks, and finally be able to make progress with their own lives. Deaf community needs this motivation, BIG TIME. No one else had stepped up to start this motivation, so here I am, MAVRICK, STEPPING UP! 
TIME FOR US TO LIVE FREE!